The Darkness of My Life
by Wrenny2000
Summary: "Darkheart! Can you hear me!" Those were the last words I ever heard him say. I was a warrior of ThunderClan back then,my name was Darkheart. But now, I left all that behind. My name is Misery and I am no-one. My tale begins in ThunderClan,when I was a kit, and I had hope
1. Allegiances

**ALLEGIANCES:**

THUNDERCLAN:

Leader: Snowstar: pure white she-cat.

Deputy:Fernleaf: gray-brown tabby tom.

Medicine Cat: Hawkclaw: gray tom with brown eyes. (Apprentice: Owlpaw: light brown she-cat.)

Warriors:

Iceheart: pale gray she-cat with light blue eyes.

Amberlight: dark orange tom. ( Apprentice: Sparrowpaw: brown tom.)

Grayfur: small gray tom.

Willowstorm: tabby she-cat with green eyes.

Mossfall: dark brown tom.

Blacknose: black tom with dark blue eyes.

Sunwing: pale ginger she-cat. (Apprentice: Duskpaw: dark gray she-cat.)

Smalltail: gray tabby tom with a short tail.

Loudstep: white tom. (Apprentice: Shortpaw: dark brown tabby tom.)

Mouseclaw: brown she-cat with light brown eyes.

Queens:

Dawnsky: gray and white she-cat with yellow eyes. (Kits: Darkkit and Lionkit)

Rosefeather: tortoiseshell she-cat. (Kits: Foxkit,Tigerkit,and Cloudkit.)

Elders:

Pinewhisper: dark reddish brown she-cat.

Oakshade: brown and gray tom.

Leafclaw: gray tabby tom.

RIVERCLAN:

Leader: Smallstar: black tom with white paws and a white flash on his chest.

Deputy: Reedtail: light brown tom.

Medicine Cat: Whitewhisker: white she-cat with brown patches.

Warriors:

Minnowshine: gray she-cat.

Silverheart: light gray tom. (Apprentice: Stonepaw: gray tom.)

Stormclaw: dark gray tabby tom. (Apprentice:Skypaw: brown tabby she-cat.)

Willowlake: pale cream she-cat.

Mistfall: long furred gray she-cat.(Apprentice: Sandpaw: pale cream tom.)

Feathersong: pale brown tom with blue eyes.

Ripplefur: dark gray tabby tom. (Apprentice: Sunpaw: tortoiseshell and white she-cat.)

Frogclaw: dark brown tabby she-cat.

Petalwish: light brown and cream she-cat.

Fogstream: gray tom with green eyes.

Lilyfrost: dark brown she-cat.

Queens:

Darkflower: dusky gray she-cat. (Kits: Treekit and Willowkit.)

Elders:

Lakewhisper: light brown tabby she-cat

Applewing: ginger and white tom.

WINDCLAN:

Leader: Breezestar: brown tom.

Deputy: Wormtail: dark brown tabby tom.

Medicine Cat: Brackenpelt: light orange tom. (Apprentice: Heatherpaw: golden brown she-cat.)

Warriors:

Grassstripe: gray tabby tom.

Beefur: dark tabby she-cat.

Wrenclaw: brown tom with amber eyes.

Harerunner: dark brown tom with green eyes.

Mothlight: pale tabby she-cat.

Brightsun: pale ginger tabby tom.

Gorsefeather: gray-brown tabby tom.

Rabbitfoot: brown she-cat with white paws.

Dustclaw: dark brown tabby tom.

Queens:

Sharpfeather: light brown she-cat. (Kits: Goldenkit,Crowkit,Pouncekit,and Larkkit.)

Elders:

Grayfeet: gray tom with small paws.

Antclaw: small brown tom.

Littleflower: white she-cat.

SHADOWCLAN:

Leader: Ivystar: black she-cat.

Deputy: Marshclaw: dark tabby tom.

Medicine Cat: Sagefur: gray she-cat.

Warriors:

Hawkshade: dark brown tom. ( Apprentice: Thistlepaw: white she-cat.)

Whiteivy: dark furred she-cat with a white splash on her chest.

Nightspots: black tom with silver flecks.

Claw: light ginger-brown tom. (former rogue)

Redflower: red she-cat with sky blue eyes. (former rogue)

Mintberry: light gray tom.

Nettlefoot: brown tom with lighter brown paws.

Emberpelt: dark ginger she-cat. ( Apprentice: Newtpaw: black tom.)

Mousepool: small light brown she-cat.

Quietheart: gray and white tom.

Queens:

Coldfang: light gray tabby she-cat with a long scar across her eye. (Kits: Flamekit,Rainkit, and Frogkit.)

Elders:

Freckleface: speckled brown tom.

ROGUES:

Moth: old cream she-cat.

Spider: black and gray tom.

LONERS:

Mike: well-muscled light tan tom. (former kittypet)

KITTYPETS:

Megan: brownish cream she-cat with a pink collar and blue eyes.

Tony: plump brown tabby tom with dark black stripes,a green collar,and brown eyes.

 _And now Darkheart's story begins. . ._


	2. Prologue

It was a dark,rainy day when the kits were born.

"The kits are coming!" yelled Hawkclaw.

"You think I don't know that?!" screamed Dawnsky,in pain.

Dawnsky was breathing heavily, while Blacknose was pacing nervously back and forth at the Nursery entrance. ThunderClan hadn't had any kits in a while,so this was big news for them.

"Are you okay?" asked Blacknose from where he was pacing.

"I'm fine!" she yelled at him,"I just wish these kits would be born already!"

Hawkclaw just rolled his eyes,he had been medicine cat for a long time,and he knew all Queens were like this while kitting. But then he noticed something.

"The first kit is coming!"

As he yelled that a dark bundle slid out, he gently picked it up and gave it to Blacknose.

"Now lick it." he instructed.

Blacknose stared at it and began licking.

Dawnsky cried out in pain.

"Another one!" said Hawkclaw and he went to help her.

A second kit slid out,smaller than the other,but not undersized.

"I'll take this one." Hawkclaw softly pulled the kit towards him and started licking.

Dawnsky screeched again and Hawkclaw rushed over to help her.

"Something's wrong." growled Hawkclaw nervously,while bending over Dawnsky.

Blacknose's heart pounded at the scene. What would happen to his mate?

Dawsky squirmed in pain. And then suddenly, she stopped.

Blacknose's eyes widened in fear,"What's wrong?"

Hawkclaw turned towards him and shook his head sadly.

"The kit was stuck," he replied grimly,"they're both dead."

"No! That's not possible!" Blacknose yelled in shock,"It can't be true!"

"I'm afraid it is. But, at least you have two beautiful kits, a son and a daughter."

Blacknose turned away,too depressed to care.

Hawkclaw put a paw on his side,"You should name them."

Blacknose glanced at his daughter,the little black she-kit was shivering with cold,he rushed over to his kits and curled his tail around them.

"The she-kit will be called Darkkit,as a reminder of this dark day. And the tom. . ." Blacknose paused,as if he was thinking,". . .will be Lionkit,to give him the strength to move on."

"Hmm. . ." Hawkclaw said,"but,who will raise them?"

"I will." growled Blacknose protectively.

Hawkclaw shook his head at him,"You can't. Who will give the kits milk?"

Blacknose looked around,"I guess Rosefeather could raise them,since she's the only other Queen."

Hawkclaw nodded,"Yes,I will go get her."

The tortoiseshell she-cat was at the other side of the Nursery,she had heard the news and was already padding towards them.

"I would be happy to raise your kits. If no one else will take them." she said.

"You are really the only one who can." Hawkclaw growled.

Blacknose picked up his kits and placed them at Rosefeather's paws.

He lowered his head to the kits,"I wish with all my heart that I could raise you with Dawnsky." he told them,"But this is the way it has to be."

Rosefeather picked the kits up and brought them to her nest, she began licking their heads softly.

"I promise I will do my best to raise them." she mewed quietly.

They all sat there in the Nursery, their heads lowered sadly,wishing the day had gone differently than it had.

Hawkclaw wished that he had a better medicine cat,

Rosefeather wished that she could have done something to help.

And all Blacknose wished for was to have his mate back.

But it was too late for their wishes to come true.


	3. Chapter 1

_Two moons later. . ._

The Nursery was filled with the joyful mews of playing kits, I was one of those kits. My brother Lionkit and I were playing mossball while the other kits watched,they were a moon younger than us,and usually preferred to watch than play.

"Darkkit, catch!" yelled Lionkit,shoving the ball at me.

I tried to pounce on it, but I tripped on my paws and landed flat on my face.

I heard a purr of amusement,"You're never going to catch it like that!" our adoptive mother,Rosefeather,laughed.

I got up and shook myself off. _How dare she laugh at me?! I didn't mean to trip! Aren't mothers supposed to be nice?_

"I'm just tired,I wasn't thinking straight!" I growled at her,"I'm going to bed!"

And with that, I stormed off.

Rosefeather purred and shook her head,"Goodnight then. Maybe a little rest will shake off that temper of yours."

 _Whatever._ I thought and curled up in my nest, my brother and I had a separate nest from the other kits,because that's just the way we liked it.

Lionkit's amber eyes widened in horror,"You can't go to sleep this early! Who will play with me?"

A small bright ginger and white she-kit bounded up to him,"I'll play with you!" she mewed cheerfully.

"But,you're too young,Foxkit!" protested Lionkit.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

As I listened to their arguing,I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 _I'm lucky to have such a great family. . ._

* * *

The next morning I woke up to find that I was the only one in the Nursery.

 _Oh no!_ I think, _Have they abandoned me?!_

My heart began to race. Where were they?

Just as I was about to scream in panic, a small gray tabby head poked it's way into the Nursery.

"Darkkit! Wake up! Snowstar wants us in the clearing!"

"But, Tigerkit, we're not allowed to go to Clan meetings! We're not old enough!"

"Rosefeather said it would be okay if we stayed by her."

I blinked sleepily,"Okay." I said and walked out of the Nursery, Tigerkit scrambling after me.

When we arrived in the clearing,Snowstar began to speak.

"As you may know,my deputy,Fernleaf was killed in the battle with RiverClan last night."

 _A battle?!_

I looked up at Rosefeather,"I didn't know there was a battle." I mewed.

Rosefeather gazed at me sternly,"That's because you were asleep most of the day. Now hush up! Snowstar is speaking."

"And now, I must announce my new deputy." Snowstar's eyes glanced around the clearing. "Blacknose,step forward."

 _My father!_ I looked up excitedly.

Blacknose stepped up to Highrock and sat down proudly.

"I say these words before the body of Fernleaf,that his spirit may hear and approve my choice. The new deputy will be Blacknose."

"Yay! You're father's deputy!" said Cloudkit.

I was trembling in excitement, my father was deputy!

But, little did I know, everything would change after that.


	4. Chapter 2

When was a kit, I had know idea what the world was like, I thought everything was just happy in life, I never truly worried about anything, but I guess that's just how it is when you're a kit. It's pathetic.

About a moon after my father became deputy, Cloudkit and I started hanging out more. Every time we played together or even just talked I noticed that he had an awful cough, I decided to ignore it, because that's the way I was, I didn't think anything bad would happen.

We were sitting outside the Nursery, the night sky was clear as we looked at the stars.

"Three more moons 'til you're an apprentice." Cloudkit said,his blue eyes glittering.

"But that's such a long time!" I complained.

"Well, it's better than four moons. That's like, forever!" he mewed.

He began going into a coughing fit.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." he replied weakly.

"At least we'll train together! You know, when we're apprentices." I mewed brightly.

"About that. . ." he coughs,"I'm not sure if I'll ever be an apprentice."

Cloudkit was always the most mature of the kits, even though he was the youngest and weakest,I guess he knew what was going on. I didn't.

"What do you mean?" I asked,"Of course you will!"

 _What is he talking about?_ I thought.

Cloudkit shook his head.

"No." he replied sadly,"I don't think so. My cough is just going to get worse,and if that happens mommy says I'll. . ."

He stopped, and shook his head again.

"Goodnight, Darkkit." he said suddenly and went back to his nest to curl up with his siblings.

I don't know what I was thinking, going out at night like that when we were just kits,the cold air would just make it worse for poor Cloudkit.


	5. Chapter 3

_Three moons later. . ._

The days dragged on, we went on living out our life as kits, sometimes we would play outside, but other times Rosefeather would drag us back in, saying it was too cold for us to be out there. What we didn't know was that Leaf-bare would be coming soon, and Cloudkit's cough would only get worse because of that.

It was night, the stars glittered coldly in the sky, I was fast asleep, dreaming of the day I would become an an apprentice.

Lionkit prodded me out of my sleep,"Hey! Darkkit! Wake up!"

Lionkit looked at me,his bright amber eyes shining. I could tell he was excited about something. _Probably our apprenticeship._ I thought.

Of course, I was excited about apprenticeship too, but I wanted to get a good night's sleep to prepare for it.

Lionkit started hopping up and down happily,"We're gonna be apprentices tomorrow!" he half-whispered, half-yelled.

"Yeah,I know." I said,trying to hide my excitement.

Lionkit looked slightly disappointed,"I was hoping you'd be more excited."

"I am!" I said,"But I'm tired and want to sleep."

Hanging his head sadly, Lionkit walked over to his nest, curled up, put his fluffy golden tail over his nose and fell asleep.

I shook my head,I loved my brother, but he could be annoying sometimes.

The next morning I awoke to the light of the cold Leaf-bare sun. I could barely contain my excitement.

 _Today's the day!_ I thought.

Rosefeather and the other kits were waiting outside. I couldn't believe it, I was going to be an apprentice! I had never felt such joy before, too bad that joy wouldn't last.

Lionkit and I rushed outside the Nursery.

"Slow down," Rosefeather scolded,"you're not apprentices yet."

"But we will be!" shouted Lionkit excitedly.

I nodded eagerly,"Yeah!"

But then I noticed someone was missing. And the excitement went away.

"Where's Cloudkit?" I asked.

"He's too sick to come to your apprentice ceremony." Rosefeather said sadly.

"Oh." I hung my head in disappointment.

Suddenly we heard the strong mew of our leader,"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here for a Clan meeting!"

We raced up to Highrock, and sat just below it. I could see my father standing by Snowstar proudly.

 _This is going to be so awesome! I'm going to be an apprentice!_

Once all the cats were gathered, Snowstar called out our names,"Lionkit! Darkkit! Step forward."

We stepped up to Highrock nervously, but with pride.

"Darkpaw and Lionkit **,** you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Darkpaw and Lionpaw. Grayfur will be mentor to Lionpaw, and Iceheart will be mentor to Darkpaw. I hope Grayfur and Iceheart will pass down all they know on to you."

We touched noses with our mentor. We were apprentices.

We lifted our heads in pride as the Clan shouted our new names.

"Darkpaw! Darkpaw! Lionpaw! Lionpaw!"

And Rosefeather's cheers were the loudest of all.


	6. Chapter 4

_With Cloudkit gone,and my apprentice duties piling up,I found it hard to enjoy life anymore. I barely talked to anyone,Lionpaw was too busy with apprentice work,and my mentor,Iceheart,would rarely talk to me at all,she prefered that I learned through actions,not words._

There was only one other apprentice besides me and Lionpaw,his name was Sparrowpaw,he should've been a warrior,but he failed his final assessment.

Just as I was about to leave for training,I noticed Sparrowpaw moping in the corner of the den.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He turned towards me,looking at me with depressed orange eyes.

"No," he said,"I don't think I'll ever be okay. I don't think I'll even become a warrior!"

"Why not?"

He sighed."My mentor hates me,Duskfur and Shorttail have already been warriors for awhile now,and training has just been getting harder."

"I'm sure you'll be fine,it's me who might not be a warrior. Apprentice training is just so hard!"

"Yeah,but you're just a new apprentice,you don't understand what it's like."

 _Thinks his life is so tough!_ I thought.

"Whatever," I said,"I better go train."

I was leaving the den,when I saw Iceheart standing outside the den.

She nodded at me coldy,"I was waiting for you. Come,Snowstar has called a Clan meeting."

I knew that the meeting would be Tigerkit and Foxkit's apprentice ceremony,which made me sad,Cloudkit wouldn't be there with them.


End file.
